Sunday, January 24, 2010

Why Misanthropy?

Questions & Answers

Q: Why misanthropy?
A: Why not, ass hole.

Q: Something buried deep under the sea?
A: You bet.

Q: Are you talking to yourself?
A: I believe that's from British Columbia, whatever it is, or maybe it's two things, in which case only one is from British Columbia, unless they both are.

Q: Empty yet?
A: Beforehand.

Q: Talking points?
A: Talk radio, talk show hosts, talkie walkies (French), taking dogs for a bath.

Q: Smegma
A: An awkward situation when I was 24, but now this room just smells like pee.

Q: Should convicts be allowed to celebrate their birthday?
A: No.

Q: When will you leave?
A: Two after.

Q: In habit?
A: Out of habit.

Q: Explain the relation.
A: Is that a question?

Q: Are you a knot?
A: I am knot-like or, knotish, and a troublemaker.

Q: Seen a fjord?
A: Yes.

Q: Believe in fjords?
A: Well in September, I believe the sky was the color a car, but it's raining now, so I should stay indoors.

Q: Can you sense me? Is this over?
A: Mule.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Things I Overheard Today

  • "I can't really open this book."
  • "Let's see now, what day is it, Sunday?"
  • "I'm eating my own roller coaster derby, Jessica. Please be my Finnish swan." (possibly misheard)
  • "I mean, put them in the guillotine then... oh I was trying to avoid him." (two people talking at once)
  • "It's worth seeing, Montesquieu." or possibly, "It's worth seeing Montesquieu."
  • "In my eye."
  • "That's pretty out of control."
  • "Vroom." (from a car)
  • They really fit an entire kitchen in that."
  • "I really like salt."
  • "That should be a true story."
  • "You've been out I guess."
  • "Shhrp." (strange noise from indeterminate source)

25 Kites that Fly

  1. The Breeze
  2. The Flying Dutchkite
  3. The Singing Nun of Kites
  4. Light Kite: the Kite that Talks
  5. Boring Jennifer's Kite of One Color
  6. The Vampire's Kite
  7. The Great White Kite
  8. Kitaroo: the Australian Boxing Kite
  9. The Dutch Dike Kite
  10. Kitey Kitey Kitey
  11. Kite on Fire
  12. Blighted Kite: The Kite for Poor Neighborhood Kite Flying
  13. Sight Kite: The Seeing Eye Kite
  14. Mite Kite: The World's Tiniest Kite
  15. Oh My God You're a Stupid Kite
  16. Night Kite: For those Kite Flying Nights (Glows in the Dark!)
  17. Dr. Kite's Kite (Prescription Only)
  18. Kitty Kite: Meow Meow
  19. Kite-o-rama (actually more of a radio controlled airplane than a kite)
  20. Kitey Kelly: The Gossip Kite
  21. Kite Armstrong: the Only Kite you can Fly in Space
  22. Danger Kite: Now with Missiles
  23. Git Kite Kit: For the Asshole Hobbyist
  24. Kid Kite: Grows Up Big and Strong
  25. The Kite: the Only Kite You'll Ever Need

Sources of Anxiety and Titles of Abe Johnston Poems

  1. Death
  2. Human Interaction
  3. Confrontation
  4. Success
  5. Failure
  6. Telephones
  7. My Internal Organs
  8. Automobiles
  9. Infinity
  10. The Fast Pace of the Modern World

Numbered List of Numbers

  1. one
  2. 3
  3. VI
  4. 79
  5. nine thousand three hundred and twenty one
  6. -.02
  7. pi
  8. 0
  9. CM
  10. 10